how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
