its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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