I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
