So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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