i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
