If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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