those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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