trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize