My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
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