Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
