Taylor Swift is so right about you.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
