Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
