I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Randomize
