will power is for people who don't want to get laid
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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