I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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