oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
