Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
