Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
