well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
