I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
operation harelip BJ is a go
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
