yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Randomize
