this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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