OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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