girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
