omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize