Please, let me fuck your mom
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
