I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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