Well apparently he's into motor boating.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
This is the high leading the old right now
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
