Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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