I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
soo... how was my night?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
