he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
