Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
