He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
