just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
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