i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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