He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
