Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize