I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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