discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
