You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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