WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
