You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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