I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
