guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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