True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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