You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
