Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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