yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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