My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
