Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
