Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I lost the right to judge tonight
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
