We're like a lot better than the average bears
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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