You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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