He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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