he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
