im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
