I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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