This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
