My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
