Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
