i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
