Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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