The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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